Political Jokes or Political Humor or Politics Humor or Politics Jokes are usually a form of satire. These jokes are concerned with politicians and heads of state, but may also cover the absurdities of a country’s political situation. Two large collection of Best political jokes exist. The first one makes fun of a negative attitude to political opponents or to politicians in general. The second one makes fun of political cliches, mottos, catch phrases or simply blunders of politicians. Some, especially the you have two cows genre, derive humour from comparing different political systems. We have a good collection of funny Best political jokes. These jokes are original and best in its category could be found on the web. Hope you will enjoy these jokes. You can e-mail these Best political jokes to your friends or someone you want. If you have your own political jokes please send your political jokes to us so that we will display your joke on our website Bittusharma.com.
Sonia kabse rahul baba ko phone kar rahi thi. Lekin woh to phone utha nahin raha tha. Aakhir usne phone uthaya.
Sonia: Arre kidhar hai tu. Election ki kitni taiyyari karni hai. Aur tu phone kyon nahin utha raha tha?
Rahul ne sharmate hue kaha: Mein to ‘ringtone’ par naach raha tha!!
Q: What do Rahul Gandhi and a statue have in common ?
A: They do nothing!
Sonia: Beta kya hua tumhe? Tum ro kyun rahe ho?
Rahul: Kuch nahin mummy. Ghode ke upar se gir gaya.
Sonia ko bahut gussa aaya. Usne secretary ko bulaya.
Sonia: Secretary, mera beta ghode se kaise gir gaya? Ghode ko training nahin di thi kya?
Sonia: Lekin wekin kuch nahin…aap ko pata nahin kya Rahul hamara bhavishya hai!
Secretary: Lekin Rahul baba khilaune wale ghode ke upar se gire!!!
What is the difference between a politician and vampire?
Ans: Vampire only suck blood. A politician will suck your blood as well as hard earned money!
How do you start a politician’s race ?
Just shout loudly chairrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
And then how do you stop that race?
Just break the damn chair!!
What do you call someone who dances on street?
Ans: A street dancer !
OK. That was easy one. Now tell me….
What do you call someone who dances on the tunes of a woman?
Ans: Manmohan Singh
What is the difference between a barking dog and a politician?
Ans: Kutta ek baar hi kaantata hai!
Kutte mein aur Manmohan mein kya farq hai?
Ans: Kutta bhaunk ne ke liye to muh kholta hai
Q: How do you keep rahul gandhi in suspense?
Ans: Give him a mirror and tell him to wait for the other person to say ‘hi.’
What is the difference between the government and the Mafia?
Ans: One of them is organized!
Obama: This morning I felt that today was going to be my lucky day. I got up at seven, had seven dollars in my pocket, there were seven of us at lunch and there were seven horses in the seven o’clock race – so I backed the seventh.
Wife: Did it win?
Obama: No, it came seventh.
Rahul ko sonia ne dukaan mein oil lene bheja.
Rahul bottle kharid leta hai aur dhyan se bottle ko dekhta hai. Phir ekdum chillane lagta hai..
Rahul: Mera free gift kidhar hai jo oil ke bottle pe likha hai?
Dukaandar: Iske saath koi gift nahin hai baba.
Rahul : Ispe to likha hai ‘CHOLESTROL FREE’ !!
Where is the best place to hide a corrupt politician?
And: There is no better place that hell ! Lets do it !!
What is a Pakistan’s national animal?
Ans: Zardari !
What is the best advice to be given to Rahul Gandhi?
Ans: Stay away from politics!
How do you measure Rahul Gandhi’s intelligence?
Ans: By asking a question: what is two plus two ?!!
Manmohan Singh and Sonia went hunting. Manmohan saw a large bird fly by. He raised his rifle to shoot.
Sonia: Hey, the rifle is not loaded.
Manmohan: I can’t wait. The bird will be gone if I take the time to load!
Rahul Gandhi Kaun Banega Crorepati khel raha tha.
Amitabh: Rahul ji, aap ek crore se bus ek kadam hi door hai. To yeh raha aapka aakhri sawal:
Q. Kya aap prime minister banana chahoge?
c. Pata nahin
d. Kabhi haan kabhi naa
Rahul: Saare jawab galat hai. Asli jawab hai: Mammi ko pata hai!
|Best Political jokes|
Project Management and mathematics of corruption:
A minister: Potential for corruption
Two ministers: Possibility of corruption
Three ministers: Planning of corruption
Five ministers: Preparation for Corruption
Ten Ministers: Execution of corruption
Prime Minister: Delivery of corruption
Why did Manmohan Singh cross the road ?
Ans: To prove he wasn’t chicken !
Why did the Indian union minister made corruption of only 1 crore?
Ans: He was on a diet!
Q. If top 10 corrupt Indian politicians took a boat ride and the boat sank, who would be saved?
Manmohan: Terrorism ek bahut badi samasya hai. Isliye hum sab ko ek joot hokar iska samna karna padega. Aatankwaad se hum sab milkar ladenge. Pura Hindustan ladega. Isliye tum sab log aage badho…..daro mat…. mein aur madam tumhare piche piche hi aa rahe hai!!!
Rahul Gandhi garden mein cycle chalana seekh raha tha. Cycle chalate chalate woh over confidant hogaya aur…
Rahul: Look, Mummy! No hands!
Sonia: Good.. continue..
Rahul: Look, Mummy! No feet!
Rahul: Look, Mummy! No teeth!!!
Once Lalu and Mayawati went to USA. They hired a car and started driving to Las Vegas.
Just outside the city limits they saw a sign: CLEAN REST ROOMS.
By the time they reached to Vegas, they cleaned total 120 rest rooms!!
Rahul Gandhi: Mummy, birthday ka cake mein apne hatho se banaunga.
Sonia: Theek hai…lekin sambhalkar.
Thodi der baad…
Rahul: Mummy cake ready hai!
Sonia: Arre lekin candles kidhar hai?
Rahul: Woh to oven mein hi pighal gayi!
A naughty child was irritating all the passengers on the flight from Delhi to Italy. Rahul Gandhi was also there. At last he could stand it no longer. “Hey kid,” he shouted. “Why don’t you go outside and play?”
Did you hear about the funny incident?
One day rahul gandhi wrote himself a letter and forgot to sign it and when it arrived he didn’t know who it was from!!
Ek din Lalu Prasad apni bhais ko lekar horse racing ground pe jata hai.
Race course ka manager: Yaha gadhe nahin sirf ghode daudte hai.
Lalu: Yeh gadha nahin bhaiswa hai.
Race course ka manager: Lekin mein to gadhe ko hi keh raha hoon!
Did you hear this story about Rahul Gandhi?
He stayed up all night to see where the sun went?
Why are you crying, rahul baba ?’ asked sonia.
rahul: Because my new shoes hurt.
sonia: That’s because you have put them on the wrong feet!
rahul: But they are the only feet I have!!
Q: Why couldn’t rahul baba write the number ELEVEN?
A: Because he didn’t know which one came first!
Rahul Gandhi: I had a funny dream last night, Mom.
Sonia: Did you?
Rahul: I dreamed I was awake, but when I woke up I found I was asleep !!
Rahul Gandhi ko ek sadhubaba dikhayi dete hai.
Rahul : Mujhe ashirwad deejiye baba.
Sadhu: Kya chahte ho bachche?
Rahul: Mujhe bhavishya mein desh ko chalana hai….
Sadhu: Desh ki chinta chhodo… pehle khud to theek se chalna seekh lo !!
What is Rahul Gandhi’s favourite book ?
Ans: Learn alphabets is easy steps!
Q: Can Rahul Gandhi be able to change a light bulb?
Ans: Yes, if he can given a training for a week!
Reporter: What is an autograph?
Rahul Gandhi: It is a chart showing sales figures for cars!
Khabar aayi hai ki China ke kam se kam 100 soldiers Indian border ke andar ghus aaye hai.
Reporters: To aap ka kya decision hai?
Manmohan: Hum eent ka jawaab patthar se denge. Sare deshwasi aaj se chinese nahin khayenge!